Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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