omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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