I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
