I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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