I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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