worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
