I like to think it a success when the cops are called
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
