He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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