I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
