VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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