Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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