just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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