She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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