Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
