FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
