You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
