Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
