But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have demons in me.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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