I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
