I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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