So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
