A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
