When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Life is so much better after having sex.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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