ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
