Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
