you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
