Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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