me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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