are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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