I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
