I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
