Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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