I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
