but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
