She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
