whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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