theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
