he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
