she looked like the bat from fern gully.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
