Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
