you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Randomize
