just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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