i barfeds in our rink
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
