i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
