I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
