After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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