Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
