How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
