everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
