Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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