Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
