do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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