my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
