Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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